The Epic Blog of Sarthak Goyal

Wedding Series: Previous parts


Part 1:The Wedding
Part 2: Wedding: The card Distribution
Part 3: The Wedding Continues (3)




(What I thought to be a single post, has continued in a four part series, All thanks to my ability of not being able to write in short.)


Hello and welcome to the final day of the Wedding match of Garima weds Deepesh. We are coming to you live from the Silver Oak Farm House. The stage is all set. Spectators are slowly filling the stadium. The match is likely to begin very shortly. Before that, lets go down to our on field commentator, with the weather report.




Well the wedding ceremonies are about to begin. There we have bride's brother, Sarthak Goyal arriving. He has been in his prime form past few days and is expected to give his best today. We can see, with assistance from his father and others, he is welcoming spectators for this big day.


Meanwhile, we have heard that the captain of the other team, the groom has arrived. But he is still waiting in dugout (ie car) as his teammates (ie baarati) are still on their way. On the other side, Sarthak Goyal has changed his stance. He is running towards the assembly point to face the opposition team (ie the boy's side), but has been sent back.


The groom is out on the crease. Korath, a kind of welcoming ceremony for the groom, has begun. And oh no! There is a twist, Sarthak has been called back at assembly point, but only to be sent back again, as the umpires (pundits) requires some material. Sarthak is running from his father to his mother and now towards the parking area. You can see the frustration mounting on his face. The car is full of match equipments (ie ceremonial stuff) and he has no clue of what has been demanded by umpire. So he makes an referral (ie ask for help) to his mother. His mother arrives, gives him the required stuff and there sarthak zoops back to Assembly point.  (In short, Korath ke time mujhe pura bhaga diya tha. All thanks to the pleasant weather that I am still alive.)


After Korath, its time for baarat to cover the 100metre and 1hour long distance till the actual venue. Unlike IPL, here fireworks are seen before the match. The baarat is moving as if snails are carrying every person. I just hope they won't be timed-out!


Meanwhile all plans have been chalked out to tackle (ie welcome) the opposition. And here enters the groom's side, jumping..err.rr.. dancing! Bride's sisters are welcoming them in the traditional tilak-and-all manner. Slowly but gradually, the opposition  captain is moving towards his place on the stage. As he was about to settle in, here enters the captain of the home team, the bride.


Both the captains are approaching towards the elevated center stage. It seems its going to one-on-one between the two captains ie Jaimala- the exchange of flower garland. Meanwhile, there is some confusion around the stage. There are two sets of jaimala and its becoming difficult to decide who will use the second set. Finally, it has been decided the keep the second set at bay and let the bride and bridegroom have the perfect match. First its the groom who puts the garland in bride's neck, followed by the groom. And as both exchanges the jaimala, the stage has started revolving. The bride and groom are holding each other's hand and flowers are raining over them. A perfect moment!


Finally they both captains descends down the center table and move towards the main stage. Our cameramen are doing the best job of getting their photographs from each and every degree of angle. These cameraman are the happiest person right now because they know its their turn NOW ie the photography session. Everyone wants to get one (and in some cases, more than one) photos with the captains. This photography session appears to be never ending with so many camera flashes to make anyone blind. (Now we all know why love is called blind!)


Meanwhile, Sarthak Goyal seems to be in search of someone. Busy in his match (wedding) duties, he hasn't been to spend anytime with his friends. And if that wasn't enough, some of his friends have reached some other stadium. They are now being called out to the right venue. And once they have reached, we can see Sarthak enjoying a break and having some relaxing time with them. In that time, the photographers' inning has come to an end (though they will keep batting throughout the match!). And its time for the Maxx-Lava-Lemon Mobile Dinner Timeout.


This timeout is only valid for groom's team. They are having dinner while the whole of the bride's team are serving them. The timeout is now over, and now comes the Grand finale of the finale- the phere!


Phere- it is that part of the wedding where bride and groom vows to be with each other ever and forever. The umpires talks with the umpire almighty (the God) and asks him for his blessings for the two captains. After taking some rounds around the pavitra agnee and with all the rituals being performed, DEEPESH GUPTA and GARIMA GOYAL GUPTA are now officially HUSBAND and WIFE.


And with the final ceremony of vidaai, where the bride leaves for her new house (giving his brother the ultimate freedom), the wedding match is now over. Not over, infact a new match has been established today.


The two week long extravaganza has finally come to an end. Overall, it has been a memorable fare. When my two elder sisters got married, I was probably bit younger to actually been involved in the wedding. But this time, I got this opportunity- to experience to be the brother of bride. Despite the workload, it was fun! Infact there hasn't been so much workload also as I have presented during the whole series. There is a long list of people who were actually taking the burden- my sisters, brothers, mom, dad and other family members. I was just contributing in bits and pieces. On the day of wedding, there were some scares of rainfall but luckily it turned out to be a pleasant environment without much of the heat or any rain. The whole function went out smoothly without any hiccups and I hope everyone enjoyed it as much as I do.


Epilogue


That was 28th May, 2010 and today its 28th May 2011 ie the first wedding anniversary of di and jiju. And I wish you both A VERY HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! :)




That's it from the series THE WEDDING! I hope you enjoyed the all the 4 parts. Please leave your comments and share it with all your friends.


Thank You. Have fun


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The Wedding Series: All parts

Has the IPL bubble finally burst?




Answer the following question and you may yourself get the answer-


>Do you know which team is currently at top of points table in IPL?
>Do you know that IPL this year has a new trophy?
>Do you know when are the finals?
>Do you even remember any particular match from this year's season?
>Do you know the format of this year's tournament?
>Do you know who is the chairman of IPL this season?
>Do you know which team Dele Styne plays for in IPL?
>Do you regularly watch IPL on TV?
>Are you even interested in IPL this year?


Isn't it amazing how most of the YES have now changed to NO this year!


I have tried to put up some of the key reasons why we are getting such a dip in TV ratings and empty stands during the matches. 




1. Excess of anything is bad
The death certificate of IPL was already signed when BCCI decided to coduct it just 5 days after the World Cup. Cmon not even a die hard fan can take so much dosage of cricket! We wanted to see our cricketers resting, not again playing in some domestic tournament, after giving us the biggest gift.


2. The pinnacle of everything
The World Cup win! After reaching the highest peak, everything else appears low. It was the biggest dream of every cricket fan in India and it had finally came true. And after that nothing else matters. We all wanted to further enjoy and live in our dreams. But IPL gave us very little time to even allow the feeling to sunk in. When you have just experienced how it feels to win a World Cup, can a win by Mumbai or CSK mean anything to you???? No! And when you are not emotionally attached to a match, you just can't enjoy it!


3. Swapping of players
I support a team for three years. I support their players. I follow them. I discuss about their strenghts and weaknesses. And what happens after 3 years? The team is entirely dissolved! And you have all new players in your team. Sangakara, the captain of Punjab is now the captain of Deccan and Gilchrist the captain of Deccan is now the captain of Punjab. Gambhir the captain of Delhi is now captaining Kolkatta and the prince of Kolkatta Ganguly is playing for Pune, Pune also comprises the Punjab guy Yuvraj. Yusuf who touched the fame through Rajasthan is now with Kolkatta while Rajasthan has Banglore's once icon player Dravid. Whenever Gayle hits a six, I still feel he is playing for Kolkatta.
I don't what the teams thought. But they simply acted foolishly- both in cricketing and business sense. One of the basic funda of marketing is that you have to keep your identity intact. But the IPL teams (barring Chennai and Mumbai) lost their identity in players auction. Not only it created confusion, teams also lost their loyal fanbase (Read: The great IPL breakup)


4. The deteriorating quality
The two new teams were added. And with the clause of maximum of 4 foreign players in a team, this meant there were 70 positions available for Indians. And that's obvious, that not all 70 can be of international standards. Even among foreign players, there were no English, Pakistanis, West Indians (barring Gayle) and most of the Australians. Thats why probably you had so many dropped catches!


5. The row over pitch
In one match, you have teams chasing down targets in excess of 200. Then in another match, team faces difficulty in achieving 100 runs only! It was required that pitches should have been uniform with only slight variations. Such inconsistency, puts people off.


6. The longer and confusing format
Even team is supposed to play 2 matches with every other team. Yet you have a team only playing 14 matches in a league of 10 teams. This is because a team plays two matches with 5 teams and only one with other 4. Nobody had the clue which team will play which team and how many teams. Everything was all so confusing. Even the semi-final stage has been twisted and made more complicated.


7. Where are the nail-bitters?
It is expected that shorter the version of cricket, more close finishes it will have. But except the first game, not even a single game had gone down to wire. If a sporting can't give you adrenaline rush, it's a waste!
There was either no competition for top 4 slot. Only about at the half stage of league, 4 teams to make it to the semis were clear and it was only a formality left to go through the next half. 


8. Missing media buzz
For good or bad reasons, IPL had always remained on the front page during the first three season. Its coverage used to begin from weeks before its actual commencement. Call it the World Cup effect or the lack of glitters from IPL (the opening ceremony was so plain!), this time the IPL buzz just didn''t go around. From hours of non-stop coverage, it was reduced to only a scroll at the bottom of the screen.


9. We missed Lalit Modi
Love him or hate him, but you can't deny that he was the face of IPL. Under him, IPL was an ambitious project with different ideas and innovations. It was something larger than life. Now, it only appears to be a monotonously managed business.




10. The IPL controversies
There was Modi vs Tharoor, then there was exit of Modi, IT raiding IPL offices, and then there were suspension of teams, followed by court orders to revoke the suspensions. Latest acquisition by Shane Warne over pitch makes you wonder if all teams actually get equal opportunity. While controversies surrounding players, attract more eye balls, these internal politics are only sore for the eyes!




Here, I would also to make a point that its only the 2011 season which has failed, not the whole of the IPL. IPL is still the future of cricket and nothing has affected its viability in the long run. But certain things are required to be taken care of for fututre seasons-

• Have a clear window in the calender for IPL
• Such swapping of the whole teams should be avoided in future
• Allow pakistanis to participate in next season. They add that extra spice in the whole league.
• Spend some money on advertisement, for creating a buzz.
• Don't forget only way to have IPL at par with EPL or NBA is by creation of team loyalities
• Don't let the standard of cricket fall, even if it means taking the I for India away from IPL
• Most importantly, don't forget, IPL is still all about cricket!

This season is only a correction, and a message for business houses that IPL is no longer a money-making machine. You will earn money only if you will perform well and make your strategies with cricket in mind.


I am eagerly waiting for the IPL's next season to see what BCCI and team franchisees will do to bring IPL on track. What do you think? Will the next season of IPL again be a success?




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Also Read:

• The Great IPL break Up
• 14 Players and 1 God who won us the World Cup
• Cricket vs Football
• Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar: 50 Quotes Describing Him

1. Proposing the accountant ways:


- Will you accept me as a liability in your life, so that you remain an asset in all my Balance Sheets?


- I,<your name> , promises you dividend throughout the lifetime. Will you subscribe to the shares of my heart?

- Thank God, there are some gains on which government doesn't charge income tax. Else I would have to keep you in a swiss bank.

- Ok. Lets get it straight. I will spend a maximum of Rs. 500 on you per month including tax. Will you be my girlfriend in this amount?

2. The engineer's style way of proposing:

- Today, I got to know why I didn't make it to the IIT, because you were here.

- You know you are the most beautiful girl in the whole class (so what if you are the only girl in the class of 40! :P).

- Einstein (or Newton, whosoever!) gave the rule that every action has equal and opposite reaction. Today I want to check that rule... Dear, I HATE you.

- Your mom and dad must be the greatest engineers in the world. That's why they created a marvel like you.

- Can we work together to engineer a child for us?

3. The medical style proposals:

- From the day I have seen you, my brain is releasing pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin resulting in increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep. Please cure me!

- I am asking you last time. Is you answer yes? Else, tomorrow they will have another body in mortuary to conduct experiments. (And no dear, it won't be me my body!)

- You can't be a doctor! Doctors save life. And you kill them with your smile!

- No pacemaker can regulate my heartbeat when you are there in front of me.

4. Cricket fan's love proposal:

- Will you be my Sakshi and I be your Dhoni?

- Do you know what's the one thing that pleases me more than Sachin's straightdrive? Your smile :)

- Hey, India is not having any matches next month. So I was wondering if we could....

- Would you like to go on a date with me at Ferozshah Kotla?

- Sachin has got his Cup, when will I get mine?

5. Corrupt official can propose too!

- For my whole life, I have accepted bribe. But today, I want to do something different. Take this Rs.100 note and become my gf.

- This Anna Hazare can stop me from coorruption, but no-one can stop me from loving you.

- Accept my proposal, else I am sitting on aamaran-anshan

6. A roadie: *beep* *beep* immunity *beep* *beep*

7. A FB addict : I "LIKE" you.

8. Fashion designer: See, you don't have any other option. All other guys are gay!

9. DU style: Hey when are you having a breakup? I just had one with my gf.

10. SMS Addict: No Santa, no Banta, neither Daya, nor ACP Pradyuman, not even Rajnikanth. All my message cards are wasted in nobody, but YOU.

11. A journolist: BREAKING NEWS! I love You!! BREAKING NEWS!!!



Statutory Warning: All these are untested methods. I wish I had someone who I could have tested them. User discretion advised while copying, imitating them.